


Something to do with a royal affair

by skullage (orphan_account)



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 11:21:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/skullage
Summary: “It’s Minho’s idea,” Kibum says, because as long as he’s been getting into trouble, Minho has taken the fall for him. But it’s true. It was his grandmother’s idea to find someone to marry, Kibum’s idea to turn it into a competition, and Minho’s idea to make it into a reality show.





	Something to do with a royal affair

**Author's Note:**

> i just can't stop writing about princes, apparently. this an AU based off one of my favourite shows, UnReal, which you should definitely watch the first three seasons of. there are other pairings in this work but they're minor enough that i'm not going to put them in the tags, and the endgame is key/jinki. this chapter isn't explicit but other chapters will be.
> 
> the first part of this chapter is set as a feature article, which is not how the rest of the work will go.

JUNE 2018

**A Prince To Remember**

> Even the mention of Prince Kibum can be polarising to his constituents, but few Koreans think about who the man really is. 

 

His face is serene and his movements fluid as he dances with the practised ease of someone who’s done this their whole life. He’s known throughout his kingdom as being a great singer, but he is, if you can believe it, an even better dancer.

Prince Kibum has a troupe of backup dancers with him, all moving in synchronised motion, but he stands out for more than his bright orange Stussy windbreaker and lace up Adidas high tops. When he stops to take a break, he winks at me.

“It’s good, right?”

Yes, it’s brilliant, I say. You’ve been dancing since you were a child?

“Everyone in the nine kingdoms knows that,” he says cheekily. “You’ll have to come up with better questions.”

After being born into the princely lifestyle, he’s not shy with the media. Instead of turning us away, he welcomed Vogue into his grandmother’s palace when we asked if we could do a spread on his new venture. He wipes his face with a towel his bodyguard—Minho, Prince Kibum’s trusted confidant, who is almost as handsome as the prince himself—hands him and then leads the way out of the practice room, which the queen had built into one of the palace rooms when Prince Kibum was a child.

So you’re pretty rich and famous, I say, and he laughs.

“I’m the envy of the whole kingdom,” he says, with a tinge of bitterness in his tone.

We walk through the palace to his favourite room, the tea room, which is adorned with modern furniture and paintings of past royalty of North Gyeongsang, his ancestors. His parents’ portrait hangs there, painted a few days after their wedding.

They were young, and young parents, too, the prince says, after I point out how exquisite his mother’s wedding dress is. There is a sadness to his gaze that highlights the gauntness of his cheeks. He’s been in mourning for three weeks, as has the country. Though not without their problems, Prince Kibum’s mother and father were beloved royals, and their sudden death rocked the nation. It’s not something the Prince dwells on, and he quickly turns his attention back to me.

This new project, I ask, what can you tell me about it?

“Oh, you know.” He’s playing coy, and his eyes sparkle with delight. “Not a lot. Yet. It’s all very hush hush so far. My grandmother has some ideas of how to get me married, involving a mobile app and hopefully a lot of vodka. Want to see it?”

The vodka?

“The mobile app.” He takes out his phone and opens an application with a crown logo on his phone. “See? They can send me videos and pictures and updates. They can talk to each other, too. It’s like a chatroom, only I can see everything.”

Do they know you can eavesdrop on them?

“Well, that depends on when this article is coming out.” He clicks through the app to show me some of the pictures, familiar faces in their underwear or at the beach, some with Instagram filters on their photos, their abs glistening and their faces pinched in varying angles that they think makes them look appealing, while the prince laughs. Settling down truly seems like a game to him, but then he’s only 26. He’s certainly toned down his partying in recent years, but he still has a reputation for it. Even 26 year olds without the weight of a kingdom on their shoulders aren’t necessarily looking for marriage.

“My grandmother told me I could either go into the military or find someone to marry, so I’m doing the latter. I’m not made for gruntwork. I couldn’t find the working end of a rifle if it told me how. Besides, I’ve already been to different countries in military zones.” He’s talking about the time he spent six months in the Philippines working as a medical aid. “I prefer helping people to fighting them.”

And you’re happy with that?

He gives me a wan smile. “If it’s what my grandmother wants—she knows what’s best for me. I’d be nowhere without her.” A look crosses his face that turns his features soft. It’s easy to see why the people closest to him adore him, even if his party-boy antics have turned some off some of the more conservative constituents of his kingdom.

He lounges on the couch with his feet up, toenails perfectly pedicured and painted the same shade of orange as his windbreaker. Despite the exercise, his makeup hasn’t run, his eyeliner still in place and his blush highlighting his cheeks. He’s the picture of insouciant perfection.

Has anyone caught your eye so far? I ask, and he grins.

“That would spoil it, don’t you think? You’ll have to watch to find out.”

Watch what, exactly, I have yet to know.

\- - -

After years of his PR manager manipulating, twisting truths, and telling outright lies to make Kibum appear as available to the public as possible, when he hears he’s going on a dating show to find someone to marry him, Regi almost has a fit.

“ _A Royal Affair_? More like pain in my ass.”

“It’s Minho’s idea,” Kibum says, because as long as he’s been getting into trouble, Minho has taken the fall for him. But it’s true. It was his grandmother’s idea to find someone to marry, Kibum’s idea to turn it into a competition, and Minho’s idea to make it into a reality show.

Regi is pissed all the way to the first shoot, but accepts his fate once Kibum introduces him to the executive producer.

“Regi, this is Lee Sooman. Mr Lee, this is Regi, my assistant.”

Mr Lee doesn’t bother getting out of his executive producer’s chair, but still manages to bow slightly. “Just Regi?”

“That’s what he calls me. I’m actually his PR guy, not that he notices the messes I clean up.”

Kibum rolls his eyes and makes a quick exit to the makeup tent. He hasn’t been inside the mansion yet, but he’s told it will look beautiful at night all done up in lights. It’s certainly big enough. It’s almost the same size as his grandmother’s palace, except it only has two floors, not four. There are rooms spread out along the grounds, enough for all the contestants awaiting to prove themselves to Kibum and grovel at his feet for a chance to spend the night with him. It should be fun.

He’s yet to see his own room, but according to the make up artists it’s nothing to scoff at.

“It’ll be like home, you’ll see,” Sunyoung tells him as she applies lip tint.

“Well, I’ll be here for the next ten weeks, so I hope so.”

Even though he’s been in makeup chairs his whole life, the garish lights never look flattering. His cool demeanour hides what he’s feeling, and the makeup hides everything else, but he’s still here, still about to embark on something that could be the stupidest choice he’s ever made, even if it is what his grandmother wants. Find a partner, sure, but open himself up to the whole country like this, exposing every part of his life for the next few weeks to cameras that follow him around everywhere in his new home? At least he had some privacy before. They’ve probably got cameras hooked up in every room on the whole show.

“You know the contestants, right?” Sunyoung takes periodic breaks to swig iced coffee out of a mug that’s bigger than Kibum’s head, but she’s nothing if not professional. She’s just highly caffeinated. How she can stand doing that and chewing gum at the same time, Kibum doesn’t know.

“Unfortunately, no. My grandmother and some advisors had a list of suitors they hooked up to the app—this one, I’ll show you.”

“Honey, I’ve seen it.” She takes out the clips and his hair falls into place.

“Right, of course. I couldn’t see the stats on the app, only Minho and my grandmother’s advisors can, and they decided who the contestants are going to be. It’s like a lucky dip for me.”

She snaps her gum and runs her hands through his hair, which feels good. He hasn’t had a hook up in a while and he’s feeling touch starved. That’s at least one positive from hair and makeup; intimacy without having to deal with the mess afterward. “I’ll get one of the hair girls to fix you up.” She winks at him and leaves with her giant iced coffee in hand.

One of the hair artists comes over to, as Sunyoung put it, fix him up, and after quick clothes change he’s ready to go. They won’t let him wear anything mesh or see-through, which rules out half his closet. How can he truly be himself with restrictions like that? And won’t it be better to live up to the suitors’ expectations of him? Korea wanted to know him for who he is and deserves to see him like that. Still, all the execs said no and gave him outfits to wear. If he was allowed any freedom on this show, it would be surprising to him.

It’s already night time when Minho appears in the tent, looking slightly dishevelled from the rain. Even dishevelled he’s handsome. The article did get that right.

“The man of the hour.” Kibum spreads his arms wide and smiles. “Look at the fruits of your labour.”

“Our labour, Kibummie. We’d be nowhere without you as a test subject.”

“What do you mean? I’m here to find true love.” He says it with a seriousness that lasts all of one and a half seconds before both he and Minho burst out laughing. He’s got the first day jitters and it shows. Who knew a prince who’s been in militarised zones could be nervous of a few first dates?

Minho shakes his head and puts his hands on Kibum’s shoulders, leaning into him slightly. “Is this really what our lives have become? I almost don’t believe it.”

“Speak for yourself, I don’t see you asking ten complete strangers to marry you.”

“Maybe if your season goes well, I will. Come on, they’re ready for you.”

Minho leads him out of the tent and into the main area where there are cameras and lights set up. This he knows how to do, and he takes his stand at the mark set out for him under a flower arch that leads the way to the front door of the mansion. A familiar face bounds up beside him and he can’t help be taken aback. He’s seen her on several tv shows; she has the kind of addictive personality that lends itself well to her profession, the kind of face people believe in. She’s looks better in her three-piece navy suit than most of the men Kibum knows.

“Your highness,” she says, bowing with the appropriate amount of respect and a little too much enthusiasm. “It’s really great to meet you.”

“Amber Liu, right?”

She nods, her eyes comically large. He’s just as awestruck as she is, though. Amber’s made a name for herself as a TV personality, scouted in Los Angeles by Lee Sooman himself and brought to Korea to host some TV shows that took off with her at the helm. She’s young but she’s gone places.

“I’m sure it’ll be great to work with you.”

“You, too, your highness.” She has an energy that is both at once manic and chill, and he finds that reassuring. At least he’s not the only one who’s out of his mind.

“Ready?” Sooman calls, and Kibum nods, straightening his blazer.

Amber launches into a speech that must have taken her no time at all to memorise, and it sets the scene: Kibum, the dreamy prince awaiting his one true love, ready to start his life with this special person. But who will it be? Ten contestants will battle it out through different challenges to become the winner. At the end of each week, one will be eliminated. Nine weeks, ten contestants, one winner of Kibum’s affection.

“Let’s meet the contestants, shall we?”

Kibum feels his stomach turn in anticipation as the horse-drawn carriage trundles up the cobblestone steps of the driveway. The first person out of the carriage is someone who he’s met before, and found charming. Taemin the idol, with his captivating eyes, stunning vocals and sensual dance moves. It’s surprising that he signed up for this, given that he’s an idol and under the same pressure Kibum was under to appear available.

“Good evening, your highness,” Taemin says in Japanese, and Kibum smiles and returns it. “You look lovely tonight.” Taemin comes forward to take Kibum’s hand and kisses the back. Kibum feels the temperature of the night rise, or maybe that’s his body heat. He hopes it’s not visible on his face.

The next person is another idol, someone more famous even than Kibum. His dance moves and voice are recognised throughout the country, and his looks in person don’t disappoint. As soon as he’s out of the carriage, Kai does a few balletic twirls and stops with exact precision in front of Kibum. They bow to each other and exchange a greeting.

“Might I say, you look stunning in that suit.”

“I’m blushing now,” Kibum says, and Kai laughs.

“I’m sure we can manage something more than a blush.”

Kibum could have fun with this one.

The contestants keep coming in between resets, familiar faces from the app and from the media, before one in particular makes Kibum take notice. She’s as beautiful in real life as she is on tv, and just as intimidating. The mystical Park Bom steps out of the carriage in six inch platform heels and a dress that shows off her legs, looking at Kibum as if she’s about to eat him for dinner.

“Your highness,” she says, in the low purr of a predator.

“Miss Park, what a surprise. I didn’t think you would be interested in something like this.”

“What, the chance to wed a prince?” She tosses her hair back from her shoulder.

“Playing by someone else’s rules,” he says, coolly, and she laughs.

“You don’t know what I’m capable of, honey.”

He kisses her hand and she continues on her way, towards the mansion where the other contestants have lined up, awaiting instruction.

The last contestant is also a surprise. Kibum feels himself stiffen as Prince Jinki kisses his cheek. It’s not Jinki’s fault that Kibum feels resentful towards him, really, just as it’s not Jinki’s fault that everyone loves him more than Kibum for being the good son, the dutiful prince, not the party boy with a bad attitude as has been painted in several tabloids over and over again since Kibum was a teenager. Jinki is, by all accounts, a perfect gentleman with a perfect smile. But still, Kibum greets him rigidly and then feels bad about it, which adds to his resentment.

As soon as Jinki joins the others they stop for a break, and by that time it’s 2 in the morning. They only have four hours of hard night left to shoot the first night in the mansion, Sooman says, loudly enough that Kibum hears it, which means they’ll be shooting for as long as they can.

The next thing they film is the pool party segment of the night. It’s only 15 degrees and Kibum really doesn’t want to get into a bathing suit, so they allow him to change into shorts and a button up which he keeps open. If they’re not allowing him to wear see-through shirts, they can deal with him unbuttoning his shirt and flashing his abs. That’s what the people want to see, after all. He spares a thought for his grandmother, who will have to sit through a season of Kibum not at his finest and people fighting over each other for him.

The alcohol starts flowing freely as the contestants gather in and around the pool. Bom is still wearing her heels, towering over Krystal, Sooyoung and Hyunah. They treat her with respect to her face, but Kibum can see the look Sooyoung shoots her as Bom finishes her third mojito backed with a soju chaser. What Bom is doing on the show, Kibum figures he’ll find out. She’s clearly not here for a husband, and anyone with half a brain knows that Kibum will end up with a man, probably another prince like Jonghyun or Donghae, at the very least one of the idols. He can’t really see himself marrying a woman, even if he has fooled around with them from time to time.

The contestants take turns coming up to him as he lounges under the gazebo, the thatched roof making the moonlight come down in beams. The prince who sits down next to him is so beautiful Kibum can barely pay attention to what he says.

“We’re not too different, I don’t think,” Jonghyun says.

“Oh, really?”

“In another life we could have been idols. Maybe even worked together.”

“That would have been nice.” Kibum only notices how close they’re sitting together when their knees brush.

“I’d like to sing you something,” Jonghyun says, all charm and softness.

“Of course, I’d love that.”

Jonghyun starts softly, the first verse of a ballad, before he launches into the chorus. His voice is even lovelier in person than on TV and has a hint of desperation in it, like he’s pouring his soul into his song, and he’s right, they could have been idols in another life.

Kibum whistles when he’s finished and his enjoyment isn’t faked. Jonghyun smiles and ducks his head, and Kibum is totally endeared. There are already a few contestants he’s sweet on, and Jonghyun is now the first on the list.

“Thank you for sharing that.”

“My pleasure.”

A silence lapses between them in which the tension mounts and Kibum feels his stomach tighten. He takes a chance, but that’s what this show is about. “Can I kiss you?”

Jonghyun licks his lips and nods, but as Kibum is closing the distance he hears a scream and a splash as Bom tips head over heels into the pool. His reaction is immediate; he jumps into the pool after her and pulls her to the surface, pulling her towards the shallow end where he can lift her up. She wraps her arms around his neck and coughs as he carries her out of the pool.

“Get me a towel,” he says to whoever is nearest to the camera that’s following him. He takes her to the gazebo, and Jonghyun moves out of the way so he can lay Bom down. He grabs the towel someone hands him and wraps it around her. “Here you go. Can I get you anything?”

She gazes up at him with rapture and takes his hand. “Thank you, your highness. You’re too kind.” She tugs at his hand and he leans down to hear her say, “I was on the Olympic track in for swimming in high school. Now you look good, and I get a reason to stay.”

He lets out a short laugh and when he stands again she looks at him with the cat-got-the-cream smirk. Sooman yells cut just as the first signs of sunlight peak out over the horizon, and Kibum feels a little out of his depth and alone as the cast and crew ignore him and start packing up.

He dodges crew members rushing back and forth and heads to the bar where he picks up a bottle of soju and two shot glasses, then takes them back to the gazebo where Bom is drying her hair with the towel. He fills the shot glasses and hands one to her, raising it in a toast before they clink them together.

“To a hilarious and eventful season,” Kibum says, and Bom replies, “Or something like it,” and they drink until the sun is well and truly up.


End file.
